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Boarding the trip home from Africa, I was so glad to be going home. I hadn’t bathed much in the past two weeks. I hadn’t eaten much either. We’d been held up twice by bandits, and I was starting to get sick from exhaustion and changing weather.

It only took two days, seven meals and four showers for me to think, “Okay, I’m ready to go back.”

For all of the hard parts of a two-week trip, my first ever out of the country, it was a blast. Even now, seven months later, the trip flashes back in waves, and I want to go back. Sure, it was tiring. Yeah, Nick did get bed-bugs (I luckily did not, but I could have), but the trip just left me more hungry, ready to illuminate more stories, to learn more about the world.

To say I changed because of the trip is too little a thing. My outlook on everything is different. I feel braver, more interested. I feel more humble, more thankful.

Before the trip, I never imagined it could be possible. I had never had the money to travel out of the country. How could I even begin to help or learn more? I almost didn’t even apply for the contest. It was 如何使用伋理ip上网, the newspaper. What chance could I possibly have?

Before the trip, I never read non-fiction. I loved journalism, more than anything, but a non-fiction book was out of the question. Since the trip, I’m reading non-fiction constantly, hoping to learn more.

Before the trip, I saw the world as things impossible. Now I know, as an American, I don’t have to have barriers. Anything is possible.

Before the trip, I felt nervous talking to strangers. But after two weeks of talking to people in a language I only half-knew (because even after almost a decade of French, I still wasn’t prepared to speak it in hospitals in central Africa), I found when I came home that I could talk to anyone. Interviews are so much easier now.

You also get the added bonus of having one of the world’s best journalists at your mercy. In our two weeks, Nick taught me about other countries, about the economics of sweatshops, about getting more out of interviews, about persistence and humanity, about challenging journalism to be the most it can be.

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“If I go to Africa, I don’t want to see any tragedy. I just want to see the animals.”

My doctor said this to me, in between checking my nose and lungs to diagnose me with post-Africa bronchitis. She is a doctor, and she doesn’t want to see any tragedy, just animals.

“I watched a woman die,” I said, amazed at my response.
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Casey Parks’s last post will appear in this space on Thursday, October 12. The archive of her previous posts will remain available. — NYTimes.com

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Kansas looks so brown and smoothly flat from the sky. I’ve seen it before, but I didn’t expect the view. It looks like the top of a chest of drawers, not a landscape of home. I’m not sure where home is exactly, though. I haven’t been to Mississippi, where I went to college, in months. Georgia, where I lived until I was 11, is just memories of cobblestone roads or trees my brother and I used to climb. And Louisiana, where I lived during high school, doesn’t feel right, either.

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But this flat, brown land of Kansas is, temporarily, home. At least it’s where my parents live, though neither of them is in town this weekend. For the first time in over three weeks, I am alone. My bike is parked outside. My CD’s and posters are in the bedroom. And I’m supposed to fit back in to these things.

I’ve returned home five pounds lighter physically, but much heavier mentally. Weight is lost but also amassed, and I’m looking to make sense of that.
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We hope you’re coming here to post a comment after watching our video report. We finished our reporting trip to Equatorial Guinea, Cameroon and the Central African Republic with more questions than answers. We’re hoping that, with your help, we’ll be able to sort out some things. We look forward to the discussion. — Nick and Casey.

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“There’s no way to get it back,” the flight attendents said, “and your plane is leaving, so hurry.”

Rushing over the grounds toward my plane, I started crying. Maybe I’m just exhausted. But still, losing a ring feels like losing more than a circle of metal.

Last year, I interviewed a woman who had lost a ring. In the rush of leaving her home in New Orleans’s Ninth Ward the night before Hurricane Katrina, Nafeesa McCoy left her wedding ring on the bedside table. Like my ring, hers had been slightly too big for her.

She was an hour away from her house before she remembered it. But it was too late. Katrina was coming. She had to take off.
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I’ll admit outright: I’ve never taken an economics class. I haven’t donated money beyond a few dollars here and there to people set up outside stores around Christmas.

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In my two weeks in Africa and in my week of subsequent trying to figure out what I just saw and what it means and what can be done, I’ve come up with these suggestions:
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The Unknown Story

I keep thinking about the stories I didn’t write.

There wasn’t time, I tell myself, and really, there wasn’t. We had so many bad roads to drive to get to the next place. And it takes time even just to start one story. We’d pull off a red clay road, randomly, and walk up to a village, waving and saying hello.

Those first few moments always scared me the most. “Okay,” I’d tell myself. “Speak French; speak French.”

Everyone in those countries shakes hands, often using both of their hands. I shook so many sweaty, work-hardened hands. I shook the hands of people I never really spoke to beyond “Bonjour.” I felt them envelop my one small hand with two of theirs. Soon I began shaking with both of my hands, too.
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‘Home’

Al Roker asked me, right before our segment on the Today Show, “So this is better than being held up at gunpoint, right?”

“Well,” I said. “Both are pretty surreal.”

It’s so strange to be in New York, where outside my window, on one block, there is more electricity than most of the Central African Republic. I woke up in the middle of the night, disoriented. Outside my window it was still light. Does it stay light longer here, I wondered. No, it’s the lights of Times Square. It’s weird to take a shower and not worry that I’m wasting too many resources, that a hotel is using all of the energy it has to fund my hot shower. It’s weird to try to explain two weeks in a five-minute television segment.

The streets are lined with magazines. The streets of Cameroon are lined with cassava.
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Well Well

I woke up on my own today. Those roosters sure are persuasive. It was only 6:30, but my first thought was frustration. I had meant to come to Africa and cover the good as well as the bad. If only I had had more time to really get to the stories, to highlight the joy.

Then, only 20 minutes later, I start talking to two Americans outside.

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They had come to fix it, or, start the process of fixing it and 129 others in northern C.A.R . villages. Working with the International Partnership for Human Development and Caritas (a faith-based program), Rachel and Tom Onuska, a young married couple, are surveying the wells. IPHD is bringing in water and sanitation experts to train local people into being well technicians.
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Into the Bush

One of the goals of this trip was to take someone with fresh eyes. How long does it take for fresh eyes to lose their gleam?

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This morning we visited a village that, in 2003, had been destroyed. Bandits burned down every house, leaving only one unharmed. The houses have all been rebuilt now, but bandits intermittently attack those who own cattle or kidnap children and demand a ransom.

But! Their market had powdered milk in a can, and they were cooking a goat with salt and chili seasoning as we interviewed them. And for a second there, I thought, oh this village is all right. At least it has food.

Wait, what?

If I took these people, individual by individual, and looked at his life (most of the people left in the village were men), I would be shocked, broken. No one has money. Everyone’s still wanting something more to eat.

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Donations

A couple of people have asked how to get money directly to Prudence’s or Pascal’s families. Roger Seukap, a reproductive health expert who traveled with us through Cameroon, is willing to take the money directly to them. Roger is a great great great guy (I can’t say enough. I burst open with happiness thinking about him), and otherwise, there isn’t a direct connection to them (no post offices).

The problem, of course, is they can’t use U.S. dollars, but that’s easily fixed, I belive. Roger can help you out.

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Roger SEUKAP
B.P. : 2314 Yaoundé – Messa Cameroun
Tél : (237) 222 83 63 (Office)
(237) 221 96 98 (Home)
(237) 995 59 97
E.mail : samyy20012001@yahoo.fr

A quick note: While I think it is very important to help their families directly, their cases are not singular. I don’t know of a way to do this, but I think the most successful way in donating is to donate toward a specific project (building a new hospital, or just updating the one they have there in Yokadouma, or perhaps paving a road). The U.N.F.P.A. does some great work with maternal health in Cameroon, but the problem is they’re a big organization. It takes a lot of money to run it, so your money wouldn’t be used as directly in ameliorating some of these problems. I will say Catholic missionaries here seem particularly adept at organizing things and helping the communities they’re in.
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The Road No Longer Traveled

The road to Manga is empty. It’s one of the better roads in northern Central African Republic, but people are too afraid to travel on it now. Two weeks ago, bandits killed a pregnant woman, her six-month old baby and their driver. Last year, bandits raided Manga itself, leaving the village with nothing.

When the bandits came, 43-year-old Robert Zama, the local school teacher, ran. There was no time for macho bravery. The bandits had guns.

“This is total insecurity,” he says.

The bandits don’t come around Manga too often. They prefer the neighboring villages that are closer to the bush, but fear is paralyzing. After the attack, the only people with cattle fled the village, leaving the village without any meat. Traveling to the market isn’t an option: the roads are too dangerous. Instead, the village is living off of beans and cassava, a starch with little nutrition and traces of cyanide.
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Dr. Jacques Ndemanga Kamoune turns down hundreds of women a year.

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Vaginal fistulas are holes in the birth canal resulting from obstructed or prolonged labor. More than two million women are suffering from the condition, most of whom do not receive medical help. Teenagers in developing countries are at a great risk for fistula because their pelvises are too small. Women with fistulas leak urine constantly. The acid from the urine leaves lesions on their legs.

“These women are forgotten,” he says. “They’re abandoned by their husbands and banished from their villages.”

So he’d like to help them all. The problem is, operating on a vaginal fistula costs a minimum of $400, and the women just don’t have the money. There aren’t any aid programs funding fistula surgeries at his hospital, though he’d love to see some.
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